


you, me (and sweet music playin' in the dark)

by GoddessOfDestruction



Category: GOT7
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2020-05-19 19:19:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessOfDestruction/pseuds/GoddessOfDestruction
Summary: Reasons why I shouldn't have a Netflix account? I spent my two days off binge-watching La Casa de Papel and forgot to upload this chapter. Oopsie!





	1. i.

The post-concert adrenaline is slowly simmering down – the cheering of the fans lingers in the back of their minds, their bodies are cooling down, and exhaustion is taking over them.

One after the other, the boys exit the concert venue and get into the tinted-window van waiting for them. Mark hops onto the front seat while the remaining six get in the back. Jackson crawls into the rear seat, leans his head against the window and is snoring before they even leave the parking lot. (He should really take a break and get some rest...). Jinyoung gets sandwiched between Yugyeom and Bambam in the midsection of the van, and quickly regrets it – they spend the whole ride on their phones, the light blinding Jinyoung's weary eyes. Without any other options, Jaebum and Youngjae take the rear seats next to Jackson.

Youngjae pulls his phone and earphones out of his pockets, hoping to relax a bit on their way to the hotel. Jaebum looks out the window, noticing how the driver misses the exit that would take them to the hotel – he knows too well by now that, for security reasons, the drivers always take one or two detours along the way in order to shake off their tail any possible stalker.

Jaebum is so focused on the world outside the van that he doesn't feel Youngjae nudging his side. It isn't until he feels something poking his ear that he comes back his senses – it's Youngjae trying to fit one of his earphones in his ear. He smiles, tired, and takes the earphone. Youngjae rests his head against Jaebum's shoulder, this time making the older smile wider and brighter. Jaebum presses a kiss to the top of Youngjae's head, ignoring his sweaty smell – everyone in the van stinks but they've all grown so used to it by now that no one complains anymore.

The interior of the van is too dark for Youngjae to see anything other than the dashboard lights in the distance – in a distance that is starting to get more and more distant according to Youngjae’s drowsy eyes. He blinks tiredly, the lights begin to blend together, and when he’s about to snooze, he feels Jaebum’s hand gently squeezing his leg, right over his knee. He places his hand on top of Jaebum's and slowly, their fingers intertwine. Jaebum smiles when Youngjae noses further into the fabric of his jacket, now using his shoulder as a pillow and not as a headrest.

By the time they reach the hotel, Youngjae is drooling on Jaebum’s jacket – he doesn’t care. Youngjae grunts when he’s told that they’ve arrived and it takes him a little to peel away from Jaebum’s warmth. Their manager hands them the keycards and wishes them goodnight just before they enter their respective rooms.

Jaebum strips off his jacket and drops it somewhere along the way to the beds. He lies down and toes off his sneakers as he adjusts his head on the pillow. Youngjae grabs his things and walks to the bathroom. They don’t need to discuss about who’ll shower first – if Youngjae lays in bed, he won’t wake up till morning and Jaebum refuses to share a bed with a stinky Youngjae. (In a similar way, Youngjae wouldn’t share a bed with a stinky Jaebum either.)

“Hyung?” Youngjae calls softly, lightly patting his chest. “Jaebumie?”

Jaebum’s eyes flutter open and he meets a damp-haired, soap-scented Youngjae hovering over his face. He smiles, eyes barely open.

“You smell nice,” he mumbles, gently tugging on the collar of Youngjae’s tee, pulling him down.

Youngjae blows out a breath of air, not quite a laugh but close – Jaebum is the cutest when he’s sleepy. He leans down and presses his lips on Jaebum’s. “And you still stink. Go take a shower.”

“Yes, Sir,” he smirks. Youngjae laughs now.  

Jaebum laces an arm around Youngjae’s waist and sits up in bed. Once up on his feet, arm still snaked around Youngjae’s waist, Jaebum puts a chaste on the side of his neck.

“Stop,” Youngjae squirms, his toes wiggle. “You know I’m ticklish.”

“Doesn’t mean that you don’t like it,” Jaebum tells him, peppering his neck with soft kisses.

“Go take a shower,” Youngjae says mid-giggling, nudging Jaebum away by jerking back his hip.

Jaebum comes back from showering to find Youngjae sitting cross-legged in bed, lips slightly pouted, his entire attention devoted to the game on his phone. Jaebum grabs his own phone and puts _their_ playlist playing. He walks over to Youngjae whose attention at this point was no longer on the game. Jaebum stretches his hand at Youngjae and pulls him off bed and into his arms. The song is no ballad but it’s slow enough for them to slow-dance to it.

“Wait,” Youngjae says, quickly untangling himself from Jaebum’s hold. Jaebum looks back to see where he’s going – the lights go off and then Youngjae is back in his arms again.  

They smile, they kiss, they are the happiest like this.


	2. ii.

Youngjae tosses his phone onto his side in bed and huffs. His call went to voicemail again. His texts are still unread. He looks down at Coco curled up on his side.

"I should go check on him, don't you think?"

The dog doesn't even move with the sound of Youngjae's voice. He sighs.

"I need to know if he's ok. I have the feeling that he's still at the studio." Youngjae kisses Coco's furry head. "I need to check on him, Princess."

He grabs a jacket, puts on his sneakers and leaves for the recording studio.

He finds a light on at the end of the long corridor.

"Aish, Im Jaebum," he grumbles to himself.

To add to his annoyance, he finds that the door is unlocked when he wraps his hand around the knob; there're some dangerous, twisted people out there, he should lock the door. Youngjae is met with chaos – Jaebum works under dim light, there's a notebook, a pen and a couple of Polaroid photos forgotten on the floor, takeaway boxes are pushed to the side of the desk, and an alarming number of plastic cups of coffee are stacked up on top of the speakers.

"What is this, Jaebum?" Youngjae is too angry to be polite and add 'hyung' at the end of his boyfriend's name. "You don't answer my calls, the door is unlocked, you're running on coffee and takeaway," he peeks into one of the boxes, "which you don't even finish."

Jaebum is boiling with anger -- it's been days since he's had this melody stuck in his head that he just can't translate to chords, and now Youngjae barges in and is yelling at him... But Jaebum doesn't take it out on him. Despite the yelling, he hears the concern in Youngjae's voice.

"I'm sorry," Jaebum mumbles, leaning back on the chair. His head lolls back and he lets his eyes close for a bit.

Youngjae heaves a sigh, anger melting away almost instantly – Jaebum looks pitiful, completely exhausted and defeated. He sits on his lap and gently runs his fingers through Jaebum's hair.

"I'm sorry, baby," he wraps his arms around Youngjae, hugging him close against his body, "but it's – I'm..."

"You're in _The Hole_ , I get it but –"

"I know," he opens his eyes, "I know I should have at least sent a text."

“How about we call it a day and we go home?”

“Kiss me,” he whispers.

There’s no lust in Jaebum’s needy plea. The world around him is ever-changing but Youngjae is one of the few constants in his life, and he’s definitively the only one who can ground him, who can bring him back to his feet when his life begins spiraling out of control.

So Youngjae kisses him, deeply, slowly.

Jaebum presses Youngjae closer against his chest as if he could coalesce their bodies together and make Youngjae a part of him. When their lungs start burning, aching for air, they part their lips. But even though he’s gasping for air, Youngjae doesn’t stop kissing Jaebum. He presses little kisses to his lips until Jaebum rubs the tip of their noses together. A small laugh roars from within Jaebum’s chest, and Youngjae smiles so big it looks like he’ll rip his face in half.

“Let’s go home now?” Youngjae asks, playing with the hair on Jaebum’s nape.

Jaebum shakes his head, cuddling Youngjae against his body. The younger gives in and lays his head on the crook of Jaebum’s neck.

“A good night of sleep will give you another perspective on it, hyung,” Youngjae reasons when Jaebum leans forward and he hears a few clicks of the mouse.

Jaebum rests back in the chair again, adjusting his body so that he can better accommodate Youngjae in his lap. Soft music starts spilling from the speakers and when Youngjae raises his head, he finds that his boyfriend has just closed his eyes. Apparently they’ll be sleeping here. Their bodies will ache in the morning, but they don’t care.

The playlist has just started repeating when Youngjae realizes that Jaebum’s breaths have grown softer – he seems to be asleep, tightly holding onto him. Youngjae decides to the same.


	3. iii.

Dance practice is over for the day – they’re all still panting but are already gathering their things and discussing where are they going to eat, and bullying each other into paying bill. Bambam and Yugyeom walk around the practice room in shuffled steps, impatiently waiting for their hyungs to hurry up, grumbling that they’ll die of starvation if they have to wait another minute for them. Out of all the members, the only one who doesn’t seem to be in a hurry is Youngjae. In fact, he isn’t even gathering any of his belongings.

“You’re staying behind to practice?” Hawk-eyed Jinyoung asks.

Youngjae nods, downing a bottle of bottle of water.

“Ah, c’mon, old men. Hurry up!” Yugyeom whines from outside the room.

Jaebum darts out of the room, chasing after the maknae, “ _Old men?_ ”

The chase is short-lived. Long-legged Yugyeom stands at the end of the corridor, cackling, whilst Jaebum, twenty-five going on fifty, has stopped just around the corner, hands on his knees, breathing heavily.

“Shit, I _am_ getting old.”

The whole group laughs as Jaebum does the walk of shame back to the room.

“Here,” Mark tosses Jaebum’s bag at him. “Let’s go. Youngjae is staying.”

“I – I think I’m going home, guys.”

Jackson groans, “God, you’re such an old fart. Just come and live life a little. Even Jinyoung is coming.”

“Why is my name being brought into this?”

Mark confides on a low tone, “You’re an old fart too, ‘Nyoungie.”

If it was humanly possible, Jinyoung would be firing daggers from his eyes.

“And you wipe that _shit eating_ grin off your face, Choi Youngjae!” Jackson points an accusatory finger at Youngjae who’s thoroughly appreciating the situation. “You’re all birds of a feather.”

“Alright,” Bambam begs in a dragged tone, “then just let them be old birds together and let’s go. We’re phoenixes and we don’t need them.”

“ _I'll be the phoenix, yeah, aiming at you, we be flying_ ,” Yugyeom sings down the hall; Bambam joins in not even a minute later.

Eventually five of the GOT7 members end up leaving the building; Youngjae and Jaebum stay behind, still smiling at their friends’ antics.

“So, you’re really staying back to practice?” Jaebum starts. “Because I don’t think you need. You’ve got all the moves down and you were doing great today. Not that you are not great on other days, but today you were doing –”

“Shut up, yeah?” Youngjae smiles as he closes the distance between them.

“Yeah,” Jaebum whispers, smiling shyly, just before Youngjae pecks his lips.

“I’m staying behind because I want to sing. The acoustic is great here, and it’s soundproof...” Youngjae looks down at his feet. “Wanna stay with me?”

“I’d love to.”

Youngjae points at the computer, “Alright, then you get to pick our first song.”

The song Jaebum picks is Maroon 5’s _Sunday Morning_. Youngjae smiles just as soon as he hears the first drum beats. And then he starts singing and Jaebum is staring – his smile is as soft as it is tantalizingly and it confuses Jaebum, he looks too innocent and sexual; he purposely locks eyes with Jaebum as his tongue slowly peeks out of his mouth to wet his lips; he teasingly rolls his eyes as he sings, lolling his head back and exposing his neck at Jaebum; his voice is sounds too growly –

“What are you doing?”

“Singing,” Youngjae smirks.

“You know I love hearing you singing this,” Jaebum walks to Youngjae like a lion approaching a gazelle.

“Then what am I doing wrong?”

“Wish I could’ve gone to New York with you,” he confides on a low tone, arms snaking around Youngjae’s middle and pulling him closer. “That video of you singing at that café – it…” he sighs. “It just makes me fall even more in love with you.”

Youngjae, so confident and teasing just moments ago, is now shyly smiling, a rush of heat coursing through his body. He blushes.

“I mean it,” he whispers, breath tickling Youngjae’s lips. “You – I don’t know how to explain it, but when you sing, you just – you love singing and I love watching you sing. You look so happy, so comfortable in your skin.”

Silence engulfs the room and Jaebum thinks of much they’ve grown, as a couple, and as people. They used to be young, naïve, out of place. All they wanted was to debut, succeed and live off music. They believed everything people would tell them, followed society’s black and white rules – they believed that love was a synonym of heterosexuality and that loving each other was morally and utterly wrong. They walked down the road of self-discovery together, they hated themselves and hurt each other just enough to reach here – self-acceptance and love for one another. Youngjae is now much more confident in himself and Jaebum feels comfortable showing the world his true self.

“ _I still believe my life is right here with you_ ,” Youngjae sings and Jaebum shudders. “Do you remember it?”

Jaebum can only nod, tears brewing in his eyes – it’s _Cracks of My Broken Heart_ , the song they used to sing during vocal practice way back in the days when they were trainees. It was through music, specially singing, that they grew closer.

“I didn’t understand the lyrics until I looked up the translation. It’s… It fits _us_ , well, what we were. We have come a long way since then, haven’t we?”

“I _do_ believe that my life is right here with you. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

Youngjae swallows hard and smacks Jaebum on the shoulder. “I asked you to stay and sing, not to make me feel feelings.”

Jaebum laughs, vision still a bit blurry. “Ok, fair enough. Let’s get back to it.”

They sing for hours – until their manager calls them, worried – and all the songs are upbeat, happy and about love.  


	4. iv.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons why I shouldn't have a Netflix account? I spent my two days off binge-watching La Casa de Papel and forgot to upload this chapter. Oopsie!

A soft breeze softly plays with Youngjae's hair. He rests his head on the headrest, admiring how beautiful Seoul looks bathed in moonlight. The street food stalls, the neon lights and the advertising billboards make Seoul look like the modern, technological city it is, but what Youngjae loves the most about Seoul is how everything seems to move at a slower pace at night. The Han River stretches out into a distance until it merges with the skyline; Youngjae wishes he could see past that distance and meet the end of it. He wishes that Jaebum would step on the gas pedal and take them far away. One day he did; Jaebum drove until the limit of the city and then stopped on the side of the road, leaned over the steering wheel and wailed like a child. Youngjae didn't know what to do. Jaebum went on a monologue on how he doesn't want, and won't be, with anyone that isn't him. Youngjae realized that night how much Jaebum loves him.

"Is this what you had in mind you wrote _Ride_?"

Jaebum sighs, a grin tugging on the corner of his lips. "I thought we were over that already."

"Nope," Youngjae chuckles, "not until you admit what the song is really about."

"Youngjae, baby, I write all my songs about you, and I can't just reveal that to the world, you know that. But what I can do is express in my lyrics the way you make me feel."

Youngjae laughs hard and loud. "Then you're a big liar." Jaebum looks at him, demanding an explanation. "If you do talk about the feelings I make you feel, then you need to tell people the truth. I remember exactly what happened the night before you wrote Ride."

Jaebum, hair all tousled, a thin layer of sweat making body glisten, was riding Youngjae like his life depended on it. His eyelids were fluttering close, head thrown back as low, dragged moans escaped from his lips. Youngjae loves seeing Jaebum like that, all wrecked, needy, desperate for him. Jaebum fully surrenders to Youngjae, whether he's giving or receiving, and if Youngjae takes even just a second to think about it, he ceases to properly function. How is it possible that someone can be filled with so much love the way Jaebum is?

"Youngjae, baby," Jaebum repeats, "we have fans that are on the younger side. We have fans that are very innocent. I can't just bring up those kinds of topics."

"Jaebum, baby," Youngjae teases. "You are on stage doing body rolls, biting on a blindfold. Do you think that whoever sees that, without even knowing the lyrics, thinks that the song is innocent? Do you think people believe that the song is about taking person on a motorbike ride?"

“What I think is that everyone is very literal and don’t actually understand the meaning behind the lyrics.”

“Pull over somewhere,” Youngjae decides to drop it and to stop teasing his boyfriend, “I’m hungry.”

Youngjae buys a couple of late night snacks from a street vendor and then they continue their ride to where they first intended to go. Jaebum finds a spot to park, overlooking the Han River. It’s a popular place where couples go to, and where paparazzi also go to, hoping to photograph any idol couple red-handed. Jaebum and Youngjae actually don’t care if they get caught by the paparazzi – through the lenses of their cameras, they can only see two friends, two band mates sharing a meal; they fail to see a couple right before their eyes.

“You know what I dreamt of the other day?” Youngjae asks before shoveling food in his mouth. Jaebum simply hums in response, waiting for Youngjae to swallow his food and carry on, “Us, living in that farmhouse we saw when we visited Cheongsando, remember?”

Of course Jaebum remembers. The boys were all given a couple of days off, and Youngjae invited Jaebum to go with him to Jeolla for a few days. Jaebum met Youngjae’s parents that day – actually _met_ them, being introduced as Youngjae’s boyfriend, not Youngjae’s band mate. He remembers having had one of the best nights of sleep after telling Youngjae’s parents about their relationship. He remembers taking the ferry with Youngjae in the early hours of morning and spending the whole day with him at the little island of Cheongsando. He remembers the vast, green scenery, and that farmhouse by the shore. It wasn’t in its best shape but the will to buy it and spends days, months, years even, fixing it and getting to live in it still burns in his chest.

“Hyung?” Youngjae elbows him.

“I’ll buy it. One day,” Jaebum speaks, staring at the vast river ahead of him. “And we’ll live there.” Then he looks at Youngjae, “One day.”

Youngjae doesn’t like talking about the future – it gives him hope that, one day, they can be a normal couple living a normal life.

“One day, when we don’t make music and people don’t remember us anymore. You know,” Jaebum smiles sadly, “people will get tired of us, one day or another.”

Youngjae hates talking about the future – it fills him with fear that, one day, the group will breakup and he won’t be making music for a living.

“Can we just live the today, please?” Youngjae silently begs for a change of subject. How did the conversation end up here?

“Of course we can.” Jaebum now offers a wide smile. “I love Seoul. I love making music. And I love you. As long as I have those three things, I’m okay.”

Youngjae’s hand reaches for the radio, turning the music up a few decibels.

“You know what I love the most about Seoul?” Youngjae leans his head against the window. “The nights. Seoul is so different at night. It’s quiet, secretive, freeing. I feel like I could scream a secret into the dead of night and no one would hear it.”

They lapse into silence for a while until Jaebum hears Youngjae singing under his breath. The Han River lays, calm and still, ahead of them, music is playing, and Youngjae is there.

Jaebum gently strokes Youngjae’s cheek with the back of his fingers. “I love you.”

The younger’s cheeks get a little warm and red. He grabs Jaebum’s hand and kisses his knuckles. “One day, yeah?”

Jaebum nods. "One day, yeah."

As much as Youngjae hates thinking ahead, he can’t help it – Jaebum loves him so much that he dares to dream of the future.


	5. v.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back!!

Youngjae wakes up to the feeling of warm lips planting little soft kisses on his cheeks. He frowns, eyes still closed. There are enough beds at the Tuan's house for all the GOT7's members to sleep in without having to share, and Youngjae clearly remembers having fallen asleep without someone else next to him in bed.

"Hi, baby," Jaebum whispers, a whiff of bad breathe fanning Youngjae's face. The younger squirms and buries his face in his pillow.

Jaebum plays with the little hairs of Youngjae's nape. "Wanna come with me to the beach and watch the sunrise?"

"What?" he mumbles, still half a sleep.

"I said that I'm going to the beach to watch the sunrise and if you want to come with me." Youngjae's brain works slower than a coal-driven train when he's sleepy, Jaebum knows it, and that's why he's extra patient with him.

"What time is it?"

"Six. Ish."

Youngjae sighs and reaches for his phone that is on the bedside table. "It's five-twenty, Jaebum. Let's just sleep." He throws an arm around Jaebum's torso and snuggles against his chest.

"I really wanted to go the beach with you, though," the older insists.

"We could have gone to the beach in the afternoon but you chose to go to the book store with Jinyoung hyung."

"Are you jealous?" Jaebum lets out an undignified snort as he chuckles.

"No. Just stating a fact."

"But do you wanna come or not?"

Youngjae whines quietly. "No, baby. Sorry." He noses Jaebum's chest, relishing on his body warmth. "'sides, we'd have to take manager-nim with us."

"You're right," Jaebum puts a kiss on the top of his hair, holding him tighter. "Staying here, cuddling you, is better anyways."

"Great. Now shut up."

Jaebum grins stupidly, as he always does.

Youngjae falls asleep, Jaebum only dozes off. He wakes up about half an hour later and carefully gets out of bed. He feels like he'll combust if he, at least, doesn't write a verse. He quietly makes his way out of the Tuan's house with his little beat-up notebook and a pen in hand, and takes a seat at their backyard porch. The morning air bites at his exposed skin – the weather is not cold but he's just got out of bed. Jaebum quickly forgets about the shift of temperatures as he watches the sky. For a moment he thinks about grabbing his phone or his camera to capture the moment but he knows that a photo would not do justice to the beauty he's witnessing right before his eyes.

Jaebum is so enthralled by the sunrise that he doesn't hear the scuffling sound of Youngjae's slippers as he approaches him. Jaebum is only aware of the younger's presence when he takes a seat at his lap.

"Wow," Youngjae lets out barely on a whisper, "it's beautiful."

"It is." Jaebum agrees. He's looking at Youngjae, not at the sunrise.

"What have you written so far? Can I take a look?"

Jaebum hands him the notebook. "There's not much, but you can still take a look." Youngjae is thumbing the scribbled pages when Jaebum blurts, "It's just the same old thing. I can only write stupid songs."

"What are you talking about?" Youngjae sounds annoyed – offended, even, Jaebum would dare to say.

"Jinyoung would look at the sunrise and write deep lyrics. I look at the sunrise and can only come up with love songs."

"And how's that stupid, Im Jaebum?"

Jaebum falls silent, unable to provide an explanation.

Youngjae kisses him. The hand that was cupping Jaebum's face slides down to his chest. He fists the fabric of his T-shirt in his hand, nails digging into Jaebum's flesh. Youngjae kisses him until Jaebum presses a hand against his chest to pull their lips away and take a breath.

"It's your fault, you know?" Jaebum says, breath ragged. "I only write stupid love songs because of you."

"Then I must be a great boyfriend because I love all of your songs."

"You're the best."

Youngjae taps the notebook with his index finger, "Finish that. I like where it's going."

"Where are you going?" Jaebum asks as Youngjae gets up from his lap.

"I love you, but I'm going back to bed."

Jaebum laughs wholeheartedly – he has the best boyfriend in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This comeback is gonna a bop (as always). Hope y'all survive it.


	6. vi.

When talking on the phone, Jaebum's tone carries different meanings, especially when he asks " _can I come over?_ " and Youngjae is proud to say that he can always predict his mood when he hears his voice.

There's the " _can I come over?_ " blurted out in the middle of a normal conversation and Youngjae knows that, a few minutes later, he'll show up at his door and they'll order some food, chill out and make out on the couch. That's the " _I just want to spend time with you_ " tone.

There's the " _can I come over?_ " spoken in a gravelly voice, usually preceded by a " _hi, baby, are you busy?_ " and Youngjae knows that once he opens the door, he's going to be greeted with a deep kiss and a happy sigh, and later they'll be in bed. That's the " _I miss you and I want to make love to you_ " tone.

There's the " _can I come over?_ " said in a dry voice, followed by short answers, and Youngjae knows that Jaebum is upset. That's the " _you messed up and we need to talk_ " tone.

There's the " _can I come over?_ " whispered in a tiny, broken voice, and Youngjae knows that Jaebum is sorry. That's the " _I messed up and we need to talk_ " tone.

And there's today's " _can I come over?_ " tone – slurred, mumbly, said in between a yawn or a dragged out sigh, and Youngjae knows that Jaebum is tired and in need of TLC. When Youngjae opens the door, he meets a zombie version of his boyfriend. He stretches out his arms and Jaebum readily hugs him, his arms wrapped around Youngjae's waist and his face pressed on his shoulder. Youngjae closes the door with a light kick.

"Do you think it's too late to turn down this group leader thing?"

Youngjae chuckles, "You're about five years too late, yeah." He puts a kiss on the side of his head. "Sorry."

Dedication, hard work and sacrifices are not quantitative measures – everyone works for a common goal, and no member works harder, sacrifices more, or is worth more than another. Jaebum wants to believe that, but, as the leader, he has extra responsibilities that the remaining six boys don’t have. He feels that he’s always lacking in something, not working hard enough, not putting enough effort into his work. When the group fails to reach an achievement, Jaebum blames it on himself. The boys always try to reassure Jaebum that they’ll always win and lose as a group, that he shouldn’t try to carry everything on his shoulders, but their words fall on deaf ears. Jaebum jokingly says that he was purposely born with broader shoulders to be able to carry everything on them. Sometimes the weight becomes too heavy and that’s when he seeks home – and Youngjae welcomes him with open arms.

"Did you eat?" Youngjae asks when Jaebum plops down on the couch. Coco jumps onto his lap. She's not particularly fond of Jaebum, but she stays with him if he pets her – which he's doing at the moment.

"I did, yeah. Stopped for some street food on the way here." He rushes to add, before Youngjae speaks, "I can't even stomach the thought of food, really."

"I didn't finish the takeout. It's in the fridge, if you want some later."

"What I really want right now," he yawns and the rest of the sentence could be left unsaid, "is to sleep."

Youngjae can still hold on for a couple more hours before going to bed but Jaebum looks like he'll pass out from exhaustion any minute now.

"How 'bout a bath first? It'll help you relax."

Jaebum only hums in agreement. Youngjae brushes the hair away from Jaebum's forehead and puts there a kiss. "I'll run you a bath, then."

"Do I have any spare clothes here?"

Youngjae speaks from the hall, "Yeah. But check the drawer."

Jaebum gets up and makes the way to Youngjae's bedroom with renewed energy. The Drawer. He loves The Drawer. When he spends the night at Youngjae's, there's always a piece of clothing that stays behind. Youngjae emptied one of the drawers of his closet to make room for Jaebum's clothes. He has to pull hard to open the drawer. He grabs a t-shirt, a pair of boxer briefs and a pair of sweatpants and carelessly throws them over the bed. Closing the drawer proves to be an even more difficult task. Jaebum's heart swells in his chest and he foolishly smiles – it's time for an upgrade.

"There're clean clothes in there, right?" Youngjae asks as he enters the bedroom.

"Yeah, yeah," Jaebum turns to face his boyfriend standing by the door. "It's just the drawer – it’s too full," he subtly hints, shutting the drawer close with a strong push.

Youngjae crosses the distance between them and points at a few unused clothes hangers. "I noticed so I got you more space. Feel free to bring more clothes."

Jaebum smiles and kisses his cheek. If it was physically possible, Youngjae would melt like ice cream in the summer.

"Your bath's ready," Youngjae continues as a way to divert his attention elsewhere other than Jaebum's loving gaze.

"Thanks, babe."

Youngjae used a bath bomb that turned the water into blue and left a lingering smell of lavender in the air. Jaebum strips off his clothes and enters the bathtub. He rests his head back and feels the hot water slowly loosening his tense muscles. He closes his eyes and tries to clear his mind of thoughts but he can’t. He mulls over his problems over and over again – until he gives himself a headache and decides that it’s time to stop. He steps out of the bathtub, dries himself and gets dressed. He sleepily totters out of the bathroom, searching for Youngjae who’s still in the living room.

“How are you feeling?”

Jaebum smiles tiredly, “A little better. But I’m exhausted. Come to bed with me.”

Youngjae turns off the TV, and the lights along the way to the bedroom, and they both slip under the bed covers. They lie on their sides, looking at each other. They’re silent for a while, Youngjae running his fingers through Jaebum’s damp hair.

“I wish I could do more,” Youngjae confesses. “I feel bad that you have to carry of all this on your back.”

“You already do enough, Jae. Trust me,” Jaebum reassures. “You might not believe it, but you being here with me helps so much. The little things you do for me… it’s just proves that you care. And that means a lot.”

“Promise me that if you ever need me to do anything, _anything at all_ , you’ll tell me. Don’t be afraid to ask, ok? Promise me.”

Jaebum grabs Youngjae’s hand and kisses his knuckles. “I promise. But I mean it, having you here is more than enough.” He drags his body closer to Youngjae’s. “Sing to me?”

Youngjae doesn’t answer with a “ _yes_ ” or asks “ _what do you want me to sing?_ ”. He simply sings, still stroking Jaebum’s hair.

When he falls asleep, Youngjae props his weight on his elbow and hovers Jaebum’s face, kissing his cheek. “Good night, Jaebumie.”  


	7. vii.

After clearing their schedule, the boys were given some time to relax and unwind. They only get four days off, but due to their hectic lives, they can make the best out of those four days, making them feel like four weeks. Jaebum visits his parents on his first day off, and hangs out with some friends on the second. As for the remaining two days, he decides to spend them with his boyfriend. Youngjae has also invited his parents over to his house and spent time with his friends during the two previous days, so when Jaebum shows up at his door and asks him if he wants to go to the _hanok_ with him, Youngjae promptly throws some clothes into a bag and they leave (after leaving Coco with a friend of Youngjae's).

Jaebum, a while back, had bought a small _hanok_ in the outskirts of Seoul, in that ambiguous area where city meets countryside. As they drive away, the city lights begin to blend together and grow smaller until they're little dots in the horizon behind them. Lonely street lamps escort their way along narrower roads, tall buildings are replaced by suburban houses, barns, and farming fields. The night sky is clear, a black tapestry with diamond-like stars spread on it. Youngjae rolls down his window and sticks his arm out, moving his hand up and down like in the motion of a plane taking-off and landing. Jaebum looks away from the road for a few seconds just to look at him, and smiles. He decides to do the same as Youngjae. He now drives with his left arm hanging out of the window, his right hand loosely clutching the steering wheel. Jaebum lets his body relax, molding itself to the cushioned seat, and heaves a happy sigh. He likes the peace of mind that driving brings him, especially when he's driving with Youngjae on the passenger seat.

Their first day at the house isn't at all eventful. They crawl under the bed covers and sleep until noon. When they wake up, they engage in a lazy makeout session that evolves into equally slow sex, and then they roll out of bed to snack on whatever it is that they can find on the kitchen cabinets. Youngjae decides to take a nap after eating, and Jaebum grabs his camera and goes out for a walk around the neighborhood.

Jaebum returns just a bit before the sunset. He leisurely strolls down the small street with a lot of new photos on the camera roll, and a plastic bag with some groceries he had bought at the local little market. He makes his way to the kitchen, to drop the bag on top of the counter, and, through the window, he sees Youngjae sitting at the steps of the porch. He manages to quietly open the door that accesses to the backyard and leans on the doorframe, watching Youngjae. He’s on his phone, thumbs frantically and dexterously typing words away. It seems that he wasn’t the only one struck by inspiration.

While looking at him, Jaebum can't wipe the foolish grin off of his face. He feels like he can breathe again, free of concerns. He feels free like a bird. Ah, birds, their baby birds. Jaebum's smile grows wider as he thinks of the fans who never leave their side, and always support them through thick and thin.

It’s the soft tinkling of the bamboo wind chimes hanging over the door that gets Youngjae’s attention. He looks up from his phone and sees his boyfriend standing there.

"Hey, you're home already.”

_Home. This is home. This could be our home._

"Did you get good photos during the walk?" No answer. “Hyung?”

Jaebum lets out an inglorious snort, being abruptly pulled away from his thoughts. “What?”

Youngjae chuckles and beckons Jaebum to take a seat next to him. “Did you enjoy the walk?”

“You know when you feel so inspired to write a song that you barely hold the excitement inside you?"

Youngjae nods, showing him what he’s being typing – song lyrics. “When I woke up, I just – I felt like I was gonna burst. I came out here, opened the notes and started typing and typing away. Couldn't stop."

"I think all we needed was some free time off. Pressure doesn't always stimulate inspiration. You can't imagine how excited I am. I can’t wait to go to the studio and pour this all out."

Youngjae runs his fingers through Jaebum's hair. "You could buy some equipment and use the spare bedroom, you know, for when inspiration strikes. The walls need some painting, sure, but we can do that together any other day we come here.”

“What do you think of mint green?”

“I think it’d look nice.”

They fall silent for a while.

Youngjae gently plays with the hairs of Jaebum’s nape while he’s looking at the small backyard of the house with the same pride in his eyes as a parent looking at their child. 

There’s a tangerine tree that he (and a neighbor) tended to and that looks like it’ll bear fruits in a very near future. There’s also a small flowerbed that was once, before he bought the house, consumed by wild plants – now little flowers are sprouting, flowers that he himself planted. It was Youngjae who suggested that maybe he could try some gardening – “ _you like flowers and the garden is just growing weeds._ ” It was also Youngjae the one who bought the wind chimes and who hung it over the porch door, hammering it in place with terrible aim.

 _This is home and I want us to stay here._  

“Help me cook dinner?” Jaebum asks as he stands up.

He stretches his hand out to Youngjae, to help him stand up as well. Youngjae hugs Jaebum from behind, arms thrown over his shoulders, and they waddle on their way inside.

They put some music on while they’re cooking and singing and dancing, Jaebum realizes something that Youngjae, somehow, as if he was reading his mind, says out loud –

“Is it weird that I think that everywhere feels like home when we’re together?”

Jaebum can only shake his head. His eyes turn into two thin lines as he smiles and leans in for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the result of listening to "My Home" and "Something Good" on repeat - fluff.


	8. viii.

"The one with the lowest score has to buy drinks and snacks for everyone!" Bambam excited high-pitched voice suggests.

Suddenly the karaoke room turns into a battlefield. Everyone starts playing rock-paper-scissors to determine the order in which everyone will sing and Jaebum, sitting at one of the chairs, observes quietly and wonders how come these six people haven't yet driven him into insanity. He chortles as he shakes his head – he's as insane as they are, that's why.

"Hyung, you're going first since you didn't play," Yugyeom says, yanking him from his place to the middle of the room.

Jackson shoves the microphone in his hand while Mark and Bambam, looking down at the tablet in the younger's hand, scroll through the available songs, determined to pick the hardest one of the catalog. They are laughing as they select the song, not exactly worried about the possibility of Jaebum winning, but are actually more interested in seeing Jaebum's head almost explode as he tries to reach the female singer's high notes.

Jaebum sighs, looking at the screen, "You guys are assholes."

Youngjae's loud laugh fills the room just as the song's first notes start playing. Jaebum looks back, trying to look menacing but fails altogether because he's smiling.

Jaebum's head doesn't explode into bits, much to the two maknaes', and Mark's, disappointment, and he even scores 76 points, much to Jackson's annoyance because he doesn't want to be the one spending his money on betrayers. Youngjae smacks his chest (somehow, the slap echoes in the chaotically loud room) and has the audacity to laugh as he does so.

"You were amazing, hyung," Youngjae praises, lips almost pressed to Jaebum's ear. (It's Bambam's turn to sing and he's screaming his head off).

"Thanks," he awkwardly says, playing with the hem of his shirt.

Youngjae leans his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, "I'll buy your favorite if it comes down to me to pay for snacks."

"With a voice like yours, there's no way you'll be the one paying."

He playfully shoves Jaebum, finding it to be the best way to react to the compliment. Youngjae doesn't know how to react to compliments, he never knew. Ever since their debuts days, whenever someone compliments him, he either furiously blushes or takes a jab at the nearest person or thing.

"Hey, it's my turn!" Youngjae bolts up from his seat. "I was third place in rock-paper-scissors!"

"Oh, please, hyung," Yugyeom pushes away, already holding the microphone. "You're going to outshine everyone, so let us try to beat you."

"You're going to gang up to disrupt me, I know it! Give me the mic!"

After a harmless scuffle, Youngjae snatches the microphone from Yugyeom's hands. As expected, Youngjae chooses a ballad, so the mood in the room settles down a little. They don't entirely shut up but they calm down enough to appreciate Youngjae's vocals. Someone dimmed the lights which made them notice the disco ball hanging over their heads. Little spots of lights spin around the walls of the room, dance across Youngjae's face, and make it look like he has freckles peppered on his skin. Jaebum watches, marveled. He feels like he's floating in the vast cosmos and Youngjae is the only thing he sees and hears.

"Do you want a bib?" Jinyoung whispers.

Jaebum hears him but is lost in his own world, too enthralled to care about anything else other than Youngjae.

Jinyoung knows – he's Park Jinyoung, of course he knows. He's always known that Jaebum is bisexual. Probably has known it even before Jaebum himself knew it. As his longtime friend, Jinyoung naturally became his confidant. He was the one who incentivized Jaebum to seek the help of a psychologist, and he's still the only one of the group who knows Jaebum's sexual orientation. He doesn't know of Jaebum and Youngjae's relationship, but he's no fool. Jaebum never explicitly told him about it, but he just knows. It's impossible not knowing. Everyone, even if they are not in the knowing, knows. It's clear, hidden in plain sight, but clear – just like the force of gravity, the oxygen in the air, and the certainty of death.

Sometimes Jaebum stops to admire whatever Youngjae is doing and starts seeing him as something ethereal. He can clearly remember when they first saw the choreography for _You Calling My Name_ and how their choreographer decided to call one of his friends, a contemporary dance teacher, to give them a class on the genre. He clearly remembers how they all showed up in shorts and T-shirt (as advised by the teacher, to help their movements), and were barefoot, warming up, when their choreographer and his teacher friend entered the door. They took the class very seriously but no one was doing it quite right. The teacher made sure to call them out on their mistakes – Jaebum and Yugyeom lacked the elegance, Mark and Jackson were executing the movements too harshly, Jinyoung was showing no emotions, and Bambam was just not feeling it at all. Everyone was lacking something, except Youngjae. He was, obviously, light-years away of mastering the genre, but he was _there, heart and soul,_ _hundred percent there_. And it showed. Jaebum stopped and stared, and what mesmerized him the most was the expressions that dawned on his face. That’s what makes Youngjae stand out in a crowd – when he feels something, everyone feels it too.

Jaebum spends the rest of night stealing glances at Youngjae from across the room, like the besotted guys from the rom-coms staring at their crush, too scared profess their love. In Jaebum’s case, he isn’t scared to tell Youngjae that he loves him, he already knows that; he’s too scared to tell him that he feels an uttermost admiration for him.

“I’m proud of you,” he says when it’s just the two of them in the karaoke room.

“You’re proud of me because I beat all the high scores at a karaoke night?”

Jaebum takes a breath, his vision tunnels and he can only see _him_ , he can only _feel_ him. “You pour your heart and soul into everything you do, and I couldn’t feel prouder to witness it. I’m so proud of everything you do, and I’ll always support whatever it is that you want to do.”

Youngjae is about to respond to that confession in the only way he knows. His hand is mere inches away from slapping Jaebum’s upper arm when the older wraps his hand around his wrist and slowly brings it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to its palm.

“I mean it. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thank you,” Youngjae croaks out, cradling Jaebum’s face with his hand and stroking his cheek with his thumb.  

“Wanna stay a little more and sing a couple more songs?”

He nods and smiles, “I want to see you trying to beat my high scores.”


	9. ix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back after I don't know how long.  
> Hope everyone is doing alright and practicing social distancing. I've been at home for 9 weeks now and I don't know the days of the week anymore.   
> Stay safe everyone and enjoy the chapter. I'll try to update more regularly and hopefully will post new stories about my (our) beloved 2jae.

Jaebum lies on his stomach, his head resting on the crook of his left arm, his right one is dangling off the edge of the bed. Youngjae runs his fingers up and down his naked back, drawing little patterns on his skin that make him get goosebumps. Jaebum hums along to song that plays from his phone resting on top of the bedside table. Youngjae leans down, placing a kiss between his shoulder blades, heaves a sigh and then lays his head on Jaebum's back.

"'m thinkin' 'bout gettin' a tattoo," Jaebum is so drowsy that he's slurring his words.

Youngjae props his elbow on the pillow and rests his head on his hand, "I heard that tattoo removals hurt."

Jaebum rolls over, lying on his back. "Why do you think that I'd want to remove the tattoo?"

"Because you're super indecisive," he chuckles.

"No, 'm not," he mumbles with a pout. "Gimme one example."

"The anti-brow piercing. The nipple piercing. The belly button piercing. Do want more examples?" Youngjae laughs as Jaebum sighs, silently admitting defeat. "Still waiting for the day you decide to get a tongue piercing."

Youngjae leans down for a kiss which makes Jaebum moan and start to instinctively spread his legs open. Youngjae knows what to do with his tongue to put his boyfriend on the brink of insanity. He decides to stop teasing Jaebum when he starts arching his back and groping his butt – they're both too tired to go for another round.

"Bum, no," Youngjae whines when Jaebum gets on top of him.

"Why not?" he smirks devilishly. "You were having fun just now, sticking your tongue down my throat, weren't you?"

"I don't think I can last for another round."

"Alright, okay," Jaebum stifles a chuckle, "I'll get back at you later, just you wait."

Youngjae belly laughs, "Are you trying to arouse me or instill fear in me?"

"Bit of both."

"Going back to the tattoo," Youngjae presses a hand on Jaebum's shoulder, making roll over and lie on his back again, "what are you thinking of doing?"

"My mother's birth flower."

"That's so sweet."

Youngjae, and everyone in the group, knows how close Jaebum is with his mother. They have a strong bond that was, unfortunately, forged to be that strong because of the unpleasant circumstances of their past.

"The thing is, I don't know where to tattoo it." He scratches the top of his head, tousling his long hair, "I want to tattoo it in a place where I can show it to her but I don't want others to see it? Like, I don't want my shirt to ride up when we're on stage and everyone sees it. Or, I don't want to forcefully wear long-sleeves all the time just to hide it. You know what I mean. You're not allowed to wear sleeveless shirts in public."

Youngjae nods. "You could do it on your shoulder, like mine. On your back, just a little bellow the nape. Or on your chest. Ooh, on the side of your heart," he places his hand on Jaebum's left pectoral, "it'd be even more meaningful."

"Yeah, I don't know," he sighs. "If I end up doing it, I think I'll just ask the tattoo artist for help." He's quiet for a while before asking, "Do you think she'll like it? She hated my anti-brow piercing. I don't want her to hate the tattoo."

Youngjae pecks his lips, "I think she'll love it." He starts playing with Jaebum’s hair, twirling it around his finger. “And what did she say about the long hair?”

“Said it looks good. She’s just worried that I’ll go bald if I keep on dyeing it.”

Youngjae puckers up his lips, deep in thought. “Can I braid your hair?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“My hair will get all wavy and messy once I’ll undo the braid.”

“I’ll do a little one. Please.”

“Do you even know how to do a braid?”

This is a battle Youngjae is going to obviously win. “I have a niece, of course I know.”

“If a photo of me with braided hair shows up on our group chat, you’ll limp for a week.”

Youngjae chuckles, reaching for the hair tie on Jaebum’s wrist. “Anyone ever tell you you’re too cocky?”

Jaebum retaliates by biting the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. “It looks like it’ll leave a mark,” he says smugly. “Just think of what more I can do to you.”

“You’re unbearable sometimes, you know that?” Youngjae tries to sound serious and mean but he can’t even finish the phrase without breaking into a smile.

The following day, the remaining GOT7 members wake up to a photo of Jaebum with a little braid on his hair. Youngjae doesn't limp but his voice is hoarse from overuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally planned to take a sadder and more emotional turn towards the end but fuck it, enough with the misery WE NEED HAPPINESS!


End file.
